I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Jamie Burrows yet. She came into my life a month ago when I was looking for the 10th woman for this project. Jamie and I have a common friend who told me about her story. It inspired me, and I immediately knew I wanted her on this panel of amazing women and when I reached out to her the feelings were mutual.
Jamie was born and raised in South Jersey. She had a rough upbringing as she lived with her mother and three younger siblings. Her father left the family and was in and out from early on, and her parents divorced when Jamie was 11. As Jamie recalls, her mother worked 2-3 jobs to make ends meet and “she loved us and always did her best with us.” Jamie felt the stress though and stepped in to alleviate some of the workload for her mother. As time went on Jamie realized that although they faced financial strain, it was easier without her father in the home. As we spoke, Jamie recalled when she was 16, her father came around one day and told her he was taking her to practice driving. She felt excited and jumped at the opportunity. They drove to Wildwood where he got out of the car and said, “Ok, I’m going to get off here.” Jamie responded, “You can’t leave me, I’m not allowed to drive by myself. I don’t have a license.” To which he responded, “You’ll figure it out.” And she did just that. She always figured it out.
As Jamie states, “I grew up real fast.” Some relatives lived locally, but they didn’t spend time together often. Between her mother and the four children, they created their family unit, and it worked for them. It brought them closer together. “Til this day, we check in on each other regularly and are active in each other’s lives,” says Jamie.
The family experienced a lot of obstacles and heartache over the years though. Addiction and depression ran down generations in the family, and Jamie’s youngest brother experienced it. He also struggled with his diagnosis of dyslexia. At some point in his teens, he began self-medicating, and his judgment was affected. When he was 17, he left his mother’s home and was living with another family. In June 2009, there was almost a week that had gone by, and Jamie went to the home with her sister to check in on their brother because they hadn’t heard from him. The family informed them he hadn’t been seen for days, so Jamie’s family called in a missing person and filed a report. She described the night she found out her baby brother was missing. “I had a dream he walked into the ocean and just kept going,” said Jamie. Two days later they were informed he had passed.
It was the most devastating experience Jamie had. She had just become a mother and was navigating life with a newborn. “I mourned just like a parent would mourn for their child. I felt like I lost my baby. I went through all the emotions,” she said. She recalls her sister came over and stayed with her for a week and they cried a lot. If it wasn’t for her newborn daughter to keep her focused on moving forward, she doesn’t know if she would’ve made it through the experience. Jamie’s family has been involved and dedicated to raising suicide awareness. They’ve participated in events over the years such as cupcake challenges and suicide prevention walks.
Jamie acknowledges she’s had a strong backing from those around her. She describes her mother as dedicated and “the most wonderful grandmother to my kids” she says. Jamie and her husband, Rich, have also been in each other’s lives since they were in high school. She has a strong network of girlfriends who’ve been supportive especially at this time when it’s needed most.
Jamie’s husband Rich was in the military, and after the 9/11 tragedy, he was deployed to Iraq in 2003 for a year. It was a difficult separation for her. She had to continue to function while he was away. She took out student loans and began her college years at Cumberland County College. She had managed to take dual credit classes in high school and already had nine college credits when she graduated. She received her Bachelor’s in Science from Thomas Edison College and went on to get her Masters in Educational Technology from New Jersey City University. She worked full time as a waitress and secretary, and put herself through school by taking night and online classes. During her husband’s deployment, she also purchased her first home. Jamie recently completed her Principal’s certification. Over the years she’s taught technology classes to high school students. She just began her new job as a Supervisor in the Career and Technology Education Department. She is now at a technical school in Atlantic County.
During the process of her job hunting and interviewing over the summer, her husband had been experiencing debilitating headaches and vomiting. One night, they had been out to dinner and he wasn’t able to make it through the meal. Jamie felt something wasn’t right and Rich was taken to the hospital that night. The doctors discovered a golf ball sized mass on his frontal lobe. He was transported to Cooper Hospital where he had his surgery a few days later. Jamie recalled the moment the doctors gave her the news. “I was sitting in the waiting room where they have all the families wait in to receive the follow-up report, and the doctors walked in with a large accordion folder. I knew as they walked towards me that he had cancer” she said. His diagnosis was Grade 3 Anaplastic Oligodendroglioma, an aggressive form of cancer. He recovered fairly quick from the surgery and was able to return to work briefly. Now comes round 2. After a second opinion, doctors recommended that Rich receive proton radiation which he will receive for 33 sessions over six weeks. After the radiation therapy is complete, he will begin six 42 day cycles of chemotherapy.
They are now in the midst of a new battle. “My kids keep me going. They motivate me. But there are days when I feel like what else are you going to throw at me? I have to stop myself from thinking this way because I need to go home and I need to be strong for them,” says Jamie. Through this process, she gives gratitude to the people who have come together like an army for her family. Her girlfriends have taken her children on overnights and taken care of them as their children. Her children are aware of what’s happening, and they’ve been open and honest with them. They are receiving therapeutic services to help through the process as well.
Jamie knows she has to be mentally and physically strong for her husband and children at this time. “Rich is the only person I have. We’ve been together for over 15 years. He’s the only one I trust, and he knows what my expectations are,” she says. Jamie is beginning the journey of self-care again. Her self-care means she will be able to provide effectively for her family. She was always an avid gym goer and started going back a few weeks ago. “I find my peace at the gym,” she says. She also thrives on problem-solving and joined the local school board. This is what helps her take care of herself.
When asked what her advice to women who need some inspiration is, she responded “On particularly rough days where I feel like I can’t take it anymore, I remind myself to be comfortable with myself. Know that you are not alone,” she says. “You have to know your worth and know what you’re capable of. You’re the one that’s going to make things happen. You can’t rely on other people.”
Jamie Burrows is a woman who possesses so much willpower, resilience, and strength. But she is human as well and knows she will have her moments of feeling weak and needing to reach out for the support. She understands she has to continue to live each day to the best of her potential and make the best of each moment. She’s doing everything she can to not only help her husband through this tough time but maintain as much “normalcy” as possible in her family and life. Her journey continues. We wish you and your family all the best. #YouGotThis
There is a Go Fund Me page set up for anyone who would like to help ease some of the financial stress as they embark on this journey. Gf.me/u/mktpnm
Best,
Tanvi Mathew, LPC
Emerge-The Counseling & Coaching Center
