There’s not many people I speak with who don’t talk about their time spent on social media. It is something that becomes a large part of our lives, particularly with teens. One of the biggest challenges we face using social media is dealing with comparison. You scroll through your feed and are bombarded with seemingly perfect photos and videos. We automatically begin to think about the lives others live, how wonderful they look, how accomplished they are, and why it’s not happening to us.
When you think about it, what are you really seeing? You’re seeing a glimpse into a staged photo or video. You’re seeing what the lens is capturing but are blind to everything else: the chaos behind the content, the messy room, the filters and edits, the angles, even the energy in the room. In the grand scheme of things, you’re getting at best, 1% of what’s actually happening. However, our minds grasp on to that 1% as if it is reality.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but those words are all the thoughts going on in your head. These thoughts begin to snowball and you become overwhelmed and upset. It’s time to filter out those words. Ask yourself this:
- What actually is reality?
- How much of this is speculation?
- What about your own life is this post making you question?
- What can you control in this moment?
- Are my thoughts helping me or hurting me right now?
If you find yourself criticizing yourself based on what you’re seeing online, give yourself a break. Even though we have access to social media at our fingertips, it doesn’t mean we need to be on it 24/7. Maybe you need to do a cleanse by unfollowing, blocking, or muting certain accounts. Highlight your helpful thoughts and repeat them to yourself on a consistent basis. Have a few helpful and reality based phrases to refer to when you need them. And most of all, be kind to yourself!
By: Katherine Pines, LCSW
