A theme I’ve been noticing as I’ve been working with my clients is that everyone has developed behaviors/thinking patterns that are attempting to protect them, but tend to do the opposite and make problems worse. These protectors within us typically develop out of trauma or stress to defend against our fears or from emotional pain. They serve a purpose in our lives, whether or not that is clear to us. What tends to happen is we figure out, consciously or subconsciously, that these behaviors are keeping us safe. These methods of coping can range from our perspectives and how we approach [...]

What is your relationship like with your children? Are you struggling to connect with them?  Children observe and mimic their parents from an early age. Our communication and behaviors towards our children build a foundation on how they will view themselves and how they’ll display their own behaviors as they grow older. Many studies show that the quality of the parent-child relationship from early childhood sets the stage for later social relationship formation.  Often times parents share not being aware of what’s going on in their children's day to day lives.  As a therapist, I see all sorts of parent-child conflicts [...]

One of the greatest weaknesses we experience can be the inability to understand our emotions and how they can affect us.  We tend to tell ourselves situations aren’t really happening and we bulldoze our way through each day. But what we fail to recognize is these emotions aren’t disappearing, they’re actually bottling up.  Our emotions are something difficult to distinguish because they’re not visible and can’t be healed by putting a band aid on them. When we don’t address our emotions as they arise, we are more likely to dump them.  Eventually, we can’t take it anymore and we may not [...]

One of the top reasons people don’t go after their dreams or reach for their goals is the fear of failure that holds them back. So many people experience the high hopes, motivation and drive, but let those peak moments disappear when their fear kicks in. Fear of the unknown and wondering how things will pan out can be a daunting feeling. As a result, people choose to settle for the situation they’re accustomed to because it’s comfortable and safe. They already know the routine and outcomes of their environment, whether it’s good or bad, it’s predictable. Pushing yourself forward and [...]

Not everyone is able to do it…to get themselves to a point where they can understand and own their behaviors, decisions, and situations that have led them to the point they’re at. When we talk about accountability, we’re talking about taking responsibility for not only things we’ve done right, but also for the mistakes we’ve made.  These are distinct facts and conditions that you answer to by allowing and accepting feedback and constructive criticism from others and eventually yourself. Our faults are the most difficult to come to terms with, especially when they effect and involve others.  But being able to [...]

  View this post on Instagram   Who sets your limits? If you feel stuck on your path, it's not because anyone is holding you back. You're holding yourself back. You have to be the one to move and maneuver around the road blocks. * * * When you realize you're in control, you'll be able to recognize the choices you have and your creative outlet will grow. (LINK IN BIO TO THIS WEEK'S BLOG) #skyisthelimit #yousetyourlimits #choices #roadtosuccess #lifecoach #njtherapist #bergencountytherapist #emergecounselingandcoaching https://emergecounselingnj.com A post shared by EMERGE (@emergecounselingandcoaching) on Feb 11, 2019 at 3:16am PST You may believe you’re [...]

When we think about the relationships that we have and the people in our lives who we socialize with, we believe these are people who we enjoying spending time with, leaning on for support and giving us feedback when we need it.  In a good relationship we feel loved, secure with talking about our insecurities, respected and comfortable with being ourselves. Most relationships do start off on a healthy note, but you may start to notice changes over time where the relationship becomes one sided.  When a relationship becomes toxic you will find yourself giving more and getting less.  The individual [...]