Pregnancy is a period in your life that comes with so many emotions.  You feel happy with the thought of becoming a mother, but can’t help to think how it will change life completely. 

Well, at least that is what happened to me.  My husband and I were excited when we found out we are becoming parents. I was extra careful with everything I did making sure  I didn’t hurt the baby in any way. Then other thoughts surfaced such as “Is it the right time?”, “ How are things going to change?”,  “How can I maintain everything?”, “ Am I ready for these changes now?” I recall feeling nervous about informing my employer about my pregnancy and uncertainty of how others were going to react to the news. Then I spoke to my friend and mentor about all the emotions I was experiencing in these moments and the advice she gave me was, “Enjoy these moments and don’t let anyone steal them from you.” These words  helped me in refocusing my thoughts, priorities, and remaining calm.  

I went from being just a few weeks away from giving birth and being elated to meet the little person that was growing inside of me to now holding him and constantly staring at his beautiful face.  As I enjoy him, the reality is that I worry about other challenges I will face as well such as returning to work and leaving the baby at home. I already foresee myself having some separation anxiety with the thought as I have to re-balance my attention between my personal and professional life again. 

As a therapist, I help women through these emotions, but now it’s my turn to experience them and I’m learning to cope and embrace them as they come.  Women play many roles and in many situations it can get stressful as we multi-task and tackle everyday life. But we learn to adjust to fulfill the needs of the roles.  

I have been making a more conscious effort to stay present, appreciating the time off, and not overthink too much.  When we overthink there is the possibility we’ll experience stress and anxiety as a result which affects us mentally and physically. 

It’s important to maintain communication with your partner or the caregiver who may be helping you care for the baby.  As a therapist, I often see partners feeling confused about their role with the baby and what they can do on their part.  This can create strain in the relationship and your partner may begin to feel they don’t bring value or have significance in the parenting role.  Your partner may not have carried the baby, but they are experiencing many of the emotions you are with this new transition. Have conversations and learn to talk about expectations and responsibilities. 

I know the mix of emotions will come and I will work through them.  My priority is to bond with my baby and adjust to our new family. I know I’ll have to ask for help.  I know I can’t do it alone. I know I may have crying spells as well as feel overwhelming joy. As a therapist and now a mother, my guiding words for you are to enjoy the littlest moments and try not to let the emotions keep you away experiencing your baby grow each day. 

There is no shame in asking for help or talking to someone if you feel your emotions are becoming too intense. Let’s embrace this beautiful journey of motherhood together and support one another. 

Santa Dastidar, LCSW